Confused, she asked her mum about it – and was told it was simply because his profile is ‘blocked’ on websites of this kind. Happy with this answer, she went about her life completely forgetting about the DNA test until she recently cleared out her emails.
Taking to Reddit, she said: “I found out that my dad, 63, isn’t my biological father. Back in 2018, my family was given 23andMe DNA kits for Christmas. I got the results in 2019 but nothing crazy was revealed. I was matched immediately with my mum but had a big question mark for dad.
“I thought it was weird that my dad didn’t come up but when I questioned my parents about it, my mum, 57, said it was because my dad had his profile blocked. I didn’t know how any of this worked and it seemed legit. My mum controls both hers and my dad’s accounts because my dad isn’t tech-savvy.
But when clearing out her emails recently, she noticed an unread notification from 23AndMe. Curious, she opened it to discover a second cousin was waiting to connect with her. She added: “I logged on and saw 20 new notifications of DNA matches and messages going back to 2021. I clicked on it and sorted all matches by strength of relation and boom I find out I have a half-brother.
“Apparently he had reached out to me the year prior. Honestly, I first thought he was my dad’s b***tard son. My whole life my mother had put it in my head and in my siblings’ heads that my dad was a cheater and he may have illegitimate children. So even though it was a shock it wasn’t too out there. My half-brother, John, and I started chatting back and forth.
“John disclosed to me that he grew up with his biological father. Confused, I started digging deeper into my DNA matches. I found lots of family I shared with John but none were familiar to me. My parents were traveling for a month and then we had a slew of birthdays so I didn’t have a chance to talk to my mother in private until recently.”
She went on to explain how her mum married the man she considers to be her dad in 1983 – but doesn’t know too much about their relationship from this time. She said: “My mother confessed that she had cheated on my dad but that she truly believed that nothing had come from those affairs. She said that my dad had no idea that she had ever cheated on him.
“I asked her about my biological father and her response was that she had met a lot of people through work and that it was nothing serious, just a friend she used to go to for male attention. I asked if my older sister, 37, was my dad’s bio daughter but she replied that now she is unsure of my sister’s paternity and isn’t even sure if we even share the same biological father.
“I am completely heartbroken and torn. I love my dad and I know this will break his heart. My mum asked me what I wanted her to do, if I wanted to go public but she warned me that this news would break many hearts. I hate that she put that on me. I told her I needed her to think about all this too and it would be her choice when and how my dad and younger siblings find out. I also told her I am going to continue to get to know my half siblings.”
Seeking advice, she asked Reddit users: “My dad deserves to know but I am scared of breaking up my family. I know I told my mum to decide but I feel like an a***hole for not telling my dad right away. What should I do?”
In response, one user said: “Tell your father but say to him you’re still his daughter and you view him as dad even if it’s not blood. Your mother is a major a**hole not only for cheating and having two kids due to it but also trying to convince you and your siblings your father was unfaithful.”
Another user added: “Your mother is manipulating you. If she was so concerned about breaking hearts, she should have thought about that before she cheated multiple times, and from the sounds of it, with multiple partners.”
A third user said: “You should tell your father and your siblings. Your father has a right to know if any of the children he has raised actually carry his DNA. Your sibling has a right to know which of their parents was the cheater and also that their partners are not close relatives.”