‘I love my husband of 20 years; but ….’. Help.


is meant to be built on trust, but one woman admitted that she liked the duality of being able to be a mother and a wife, but also a sexual person with strangers behind closed doors.

She explained that mundane things had become irritating to her, and she loved nothing more than being able to meet up with lovers, and feeling “light-headed with desire”. Out of the 20 years they’ve been married, she’s been unfaithful for 14 of them and had eight affairs.

While she knows that’s wrong, she is glad her husband hasn’t found out about her sordid affairs, the anonymous woman told Mail Online. She explained that each time she ended up in bed with another man, she promised herself that it’d be the last time – but she just couldn’t kick the “illicit” habit.

The 44-year-old knew that if her teen daughter and husband found out about what she was doing they’d be heartbroken – but she couldn’t stop. Confusingly, she shared that she and her husband “make love once most weeks”, which she said was enough to keep their “intimacy” – but she can’t get rid of the “excitement it [sleeping with other people] injects”. She said that the thought of sleeping with just her husband for the rest of her life was “depressing”. “I feel guilty, but, again, not enough to stop”, she admitted.

She explained that when she first started having affairs, it was a stereotype, as it was a younger man she met at the gym near her work. She said that she didn’t even “think” about what her husband would think if he found out about her affair – and things snowballed from there and she began sleeping with younger men who wouldn’t want to “take it further” as she’s married.

The woman shared a time when she almost got caught, however, when her husband saw a text from her lover at the gym – but thankfully he was just asking when the gym opened. Remembering that her husband was “unsettled” that another man was texting her, she managed to play it cool and got away with it. She was just grateful he didn’t see any messages of a racier nature because her phone began to ring, as they “would’ve exposed the affair”.

She doesn’t tell men her “real name” to avoid any drama, and explained she loves the feelings of “lust”, despite the fact she’s “playing a dangerous game”. “I also find them validating: being wanted by these men in such a purely physical way makes me feel like I’ve somehow still got it”, she gushed.

The woman went on to share that she’s currently having an affair with a colleague, which is “dangerously close to home”, sharing that they’ve both said it can’t go on forever. But she said that he’s so “good in bed” which is why the affair has “lasted so long”. She said that they regularly meet up at hotels booked on her work credit card, which doesn’t arouse suspicion from her husband as she’s working away, saying that she enjoys her “weekly sojourns from reality”.

She said she just couldn’t “reconcile” herself to a life of only sleeping with one person because she needed the feelings of “pure lust”, but she didn’t want to admit what she’d been up to, to her husband.

She needs your help to stop.

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